this is a true story... in elementary school i was a tomboy. fighting boys, playing sports, talking smack. always jeans and sneakers, you know the type. but on the inside i was a nerd. every weekend i'd sneak off to the library to hide in a corner and read. i was farsighted and wore glasses. but i would never wear those in public. too much like a nerd. one day i was walking home from the library backpack on my back with the latest science fiction and my glasses hidden deep inside. im walking up this long street when a black car drives by, slows and stops. the door opens and this man gets out blocking my path. on the back of my neck my hair stands up. and the man says to me, "hey little girl... you want some candy?" candy for my baby. candy for my love. put my hands upon you and shove. he says this and i stop dead. then i turn and run. fast as lightening, faster than in any sport or any fight or when racing any boy. i tear between houses, cutting through yards. as i hit the next street over i see the black car ripping around the corner, and i realize they're chasing me. i run even faster. breathing hard i cover another block and the black car is nowhere in sight. i keep running until my mind flickers on: find somewhere safe, i think. then i see bobby's house. bobby burns. my fourth-grade boyfriend for a week. he was my basketball buddy who called me up one day to ask, "do you want to go with me?" i said, "where?" he said, "steady, stupid!" we were an item for a week till i realized the girl ness of being a girlfriend and opted for the boy ness of being single. i dumped him and he stopped speaking to me. but his house was close so i pounded on the door. bobby's mom led me inside and gave me a glass of water. i stuttered through my story about the black car and the candy man and the potential kidnapping. "just how they show on tv," i said. "just like that." with the bad guy getting out and luring the unsuspecting children to his car with promises of jolly ranchers and candy necklaces. candy for my baby. candy for my love. put my hands upon you and shove. she comforted me and i started to cry a bit. that's when bobby came in and stared at me. i hid my eyes in my glass of water and tried to pretend he just wasn't there. bobby's mom said we should call the police. but first we should call my parents and let them know what's happened. she handed me the phone and i dialed home. "dad, dad!" i said, "i was walking home and this black car pulled up and this man got out and said 'you want some candy little girl?'" i heard my dad yelling through the phone. it took me a minute to understand what he was saying, but then i got it. "geez jenn. would you just wear your fucking glasses! that was me and your uncle." ♥ ♥ ♥ this is a shock to the system. what you are hearing. what do i sound like? what am i singing? who do i look like? can i break you down to the very elementary? what are the chords? can he bring it? are you just another flake? cause there was someone else before you. that did it better than you: an easy sing-a-long. we all are fakes! could you be more original? is that asking so much? cause i believe in throwing stones as long as they dont hit me. there was someone else before you that did it better than you: an easy sing-a-long. we all are fakes! this is a shock to your system. what you are hearing. this is a shock to the system. what you are hearing. what do i sound like? what am i singing? who do i look like? ♥ ♥ ♥ so what if you're loaded? the search lights' on the crowd. criminal minded exodus out of town. look at your people stare at the wall. sit there and wonder which ones gonna fall? it'll be you babe. it will always be you baby. look at your best friends. are you glad they're around? will you sit by their bedsides? turn those smiles to frowns? by playing the blame game. it most certain is me. uncompromising fulfilling your fantasies. mine will be you babe. they will always be you baby. all around you claim your down with this but i tend to think your guessing is wrong baby. listen up as i present you your choices. clear your head or you will be fed twisted dolly voices. medicated for leisure. people screaming in rhyme. trying to sell the concepts about the denial of time. they ask the same questions those have asked before you. it's a conflict of interest believing your lies are true. they're true babe. they will always be true baby. all around you claim you're down with this but i tend to think your guessing is wrong, baby. listen up as i present you your choices. clear your head or you will be fed twisted dolly voices. ♥ ♥ ♥ woke up to gun shots outside my front door. dark blue sedan with the pedal to the god damn floor. sirens wailing and blaring closer this way. jimmy my window and flathead my steering column. steal my auto and joyride twelve blocks away. officer at the front arrivin' at the scene of the crime. well we hope to see this change subside. you're forced to get by, by means illegal and otherwise. understand your m.o. but man we can't condone harm to another. transition and resistance (myopic decisions) transition and resistance (the youth are blistered) transition and resistance (the youth are blistered) you can't stop the market forces. only hope is to contain them ♥ ♥ ♥ dense moisture envelops the summer air. once a time of drunken stumbles across campus courtyards and down dormitory stairs. careless memories, carefree attractions. yes, we all seek to find some kind of traction. we don't dance without consequence. we don't allow spontaneous exuberance. to become one with the artery or is this just a concrete vein? a road that glows in the rearview. a visible, yet intangible energy seeps through this perforated scene. we don't dance without consequence. we don't allow for spontaneous exuberance. this duality suspends reality. the nocturnal and diurnal minds. yes they try to coincide. but they are wont to collide. the nocturnal and diurnal minds. tumulutous inside. seeking resolve for luminance. resolve for luminance. ♥ ♥ ♥ teens in limousines. big wig's child's just wild enough to be queen of the scene. news and magazine. tell me when it's bad enough, is it good enough for me? now that i'm enraged, never to return it's all illusion anyway. adult drama queens constantly complain all day and rain on my parade. hip stars and their cars. fascinated and agitated with paparazzi scars. now that i'm enraged, never to return it's all illusion anyway. junkies and their dreams. the weakness is a sickness trying to get yourself clean. makes you want to scream or pop a pill, relax and chill. your mind and soul are weak. now that i'm enraged, never to return it's all illusion anyway. ♥ ♥ ♥ this past tense offends ignoring historical context. allows one to bend words to justify unjust thoughts, acts. if the beauty of your tradition is in the storied repetition. well man here's my confession. i rebuke your kind of religion. i will spread love amongst the masses. making you believe. pretty soon we'll all agree. you should see because i notice that you never have the answers. we make the path by walking. the truth manifests action. must put example before parable to expose the universal. i will spread love amongst the masses. making you believe. pretty soon you'll all agree. you should see because i notice that you haven't got the answers. handcuffed by dogma and doctrine. you ignore these words origin. the hermeneutic of suspicion. that's the life i'm livin'. i will spread love amongst your masses. making you believe. pretty soon we'll all agree. you should see because i notice that you never have the answers. ♥ ♥ ♥ girls or guys? i don't know if i like girls or guys? hey you. you need. to hear. me scream. gag in mouth. hands tied. it's infatuation. that exposes this side. you got me. just so you know. at "hello." you got me, baby, begging on my knees. and you know i will. kitties are pretty and i like to pet them. two kitties together whether girl or a guy. kitties are pretty and i like to pet them. even as they're cumming they'll be waving you bi, bi, bi. am i sick? with your afflication. or just obsessed. with your condition. don't make me choose. one side. but either way. i'll pick one side of the line. you got me. just so you know. at "hello." you got me, baby, begging on my knees. like you know i will. kitties are pretty and i like to pet them. two kitties together whether girl or a guy. kitties are pretty and i like to pet them. even as they're cumming they'll be waving you bi, bi, bi. ♥ ♥ ♥ weary citizens hustle the pavement and i cannot spare a solitary dime. shooting songbirds with barreled shotguns. unleash the murder to summon some truth. demarcations of death and achievement. in prominent places up on high. hey thanks for asking i'm doing just "fine." another smile and nod to perpetuate that lie. where's the sound of protest drums? voices inside have gone numb. on pins and needles, the mental status quo. we drop the social hammer upon the ones that stand up. we drop the social hammer upon the ones that stand up. we need and succeed with unbridled uniformity. where's the sound of protest drums? voices inside have gone numb. sleepwalking. it's exhausting me. ♥ ♥ ♥ i am a part of that past, a small role in retrospect. the inverse is more profound, with all the sights and sounds. the faces may change. the places remain not quite the same. as we ascend. separation restored. regional memories rush into the fore. making the present surreal with past emotions once ignored. all that I once was. pales in comparison to what we now stand to be. as we ascend. separation restored. i am, i am, a flood. these streets, they speak to what once was. we are, we are, a flood. all of these intentions directed above. all that I once was. pales in comparison to what we now stand to be. as we ascend. separation restored. ♥ ♥ ♥ i could see myself put in some kind of situation. where i would need my lawyer to contact satellites and stations. to alert all the nations that it's come to this. to end your vacations with a photo and a kiss. because you didn't want to believe it when we warned you. no, you didn't want to believe it when we told you. that strange looking men have taken over the government. no. you wouldn't be able to tell anyone. no. you wouldn't be able to sell it to anyone. they come dressed in dark blue suits custom fit for their selection. with a penchant to win and shit-eating grin to avoid any detection. "we come in peace, and we offer you no harm." i'll take that into consideration when sounding the alarm. because you didn't want to believe it when we warned you. no, you didn't want to believe it when we told you. that strange looking men have taken over the government. no. you wouldn't be able to tell anyone. no. you wouldn't be able to sell it to anyone. you wouldn't be able to yell at anyone. you wouldn't be able to run. ♥ ♥ ♥ there are so many ways to turn you on. but this isn't one of them.